January 31st, 2005
Check your Bike/Horse Riding Partner for Compatibility Issues Here
In the interests of helping those lucky MTBers who find themselves a horse riding woman, or those horse riding women who find themselves a bike riding man* 32sixteen are working on a comparison chart enabling you to see if you are compatible. This is very much a work in progress.
And don’t believe what MBUKids might tell you (and they have since the days of Jason McRoy and Sophie Brooks) that you can combine the two hobbies at the same time. You can combine the two hobbies. The important little detail is the ‘at the same time’. Forget it. Horses can leap over obstacles you can’t and can hoon off faster than a roadie chasing a carload of EPO. Bikes can ride much more technical cheeky trails.
Enjoy both sports for their differences, but most importantly enjoy both of them for the speed.
Dressage - Trials
Not at first obvious. Dressage at top level involves calmly sitting there in top hat and tails while the horse does strange things underneath. That’s because the rider only appears to be sitting there effortlessly. Underneath there are subtle yet strong pelvic movements and thigh squeezes going on that would make a man wince. Which is where the similarity to trials comes in. Trials only looks easy. Whether the number of SMID** is reflected in trials is purely speculation.
Eventing - Impromptu singlespeed race weekend.
Turn up, park the lorry/car, unload the beers and find some friends to chew the fat. An event/race might be happening over the other side of the site somewhere, but you’re too busy catching up on gossip. When you do finally get on and ride it will be with more determination than you want your fellows to see. Once finished you will spend more time talking about your nightmare at the Helsinki/that nasty drop off or whatever than you were actually out on course. There will be those with the latest pimpy Indy Fab/Oakley Supreme, but the core are those with a bodged together one-speed/cheap converted DAF.
Hunting - Cheeky Trails
Only cheeky trails riders and hunters talk about the soul and the spirit of what they’re doing. And strictly speaking both activities are illegal. Both take their drinking seriously enough to be on the whisky before 9.a.m.
Showjumping - Downhilling/Dirt Jumping
Showjumping is all about speed, power, picking lines and control, just the same as downhilling and jumping. While downhillers/jumpers are always after the flashiest bike, more suspension and bigger brakes the show jumpers are also after the flashiest horses that will jump bigger and bits that will slow the buggers down. Both sports are essentially scruffy types who will force themselves into the necessary gear to compete. While dirt jumpers can often be found ignoring their aerobic cycling brethren sharing a fag and comparing forks at the bottom of the local jump spot show jumpers will hang around the collecting ring sharing a fag and comparing bits.
XC
Horse riders have more sense than to pursue anything resembling XC.
* We make no apologies for what may appear to the uninitiated to be a sexist remark that any closer observation will plainly reveal to be a fairly accurately generalisation.
** If you know, you know :-)
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