Bike: Spot
Route: Steppingley figure of eight
Playlist: New Wave Faves

Not the most exciting route, and with the clay and clag more like resistance training. Still, the singletrack section was sketchy fun. Maybe I should have fitted mud tyres to the geared Spot or just gone out on the singlespeed, which is suitably equipped 12 months of the year.

Vintage Spot

Bike: Spot
Route: Reverse Pig Farm with added cheek to finish
Playlist: Metal

First ride of the year. I encountered cheeky trail riders on the bridleway riding to their not so secret play spot. I rode some cheeky footpaths and everyone, everyone, I met was walking a dog. Not one of them was on a lead. I don’t normally ride the same bridleways on the bike as I do on the horse because, well, good horse-riding bridleways aren’t generally good bike-riding bridleways and vice versa. But tonight one of them was the best way home. Met two horse riders on the way.

Now if I was typical of the commentards on the Singletrackworld forum these days I should have been bitten at least once and later died of an apoplectic fit at the abuses of rights of way going on. Yet I had no problems and everyone was friendly and cheery. My suspicion is that attitude begets attitude and there’s a reason so many of the folk on that aforementioned forum have difficult encounters on the trails. Just saying like.

The photo per ride trend continues into 2012. I’ve made a note to start carrying the UltraPod so that they’re not just Panda shots.

cheeky chalky

Last minute milestone

Bike: Il Pompino
Distance: Just over an hour
Playlist: Rawk – iPod went Motörhead

There’s something satisfying about hitting a milestone at the last minute, especially when you only realised just before an arbitrary deadline that the milestone was within your grasp.

Yesterday was a birthday blowout evening meal which included beer. And boy could I tell that I had had beer as I mucked out the horses this morning. It felt like it was sweating out of every pore. So I wasn’t looking forward to getting out for the last few miles needed to hit the 1,000 miles. I even looked at the route profile from yesterday to try and work out which way round to do it to ease aching legs. The conclusion was to get the climbing and suffering over in the first three miles and enjoy the gradual descent of the remaining miles.

Wanker socks. Incongruous shoes**

I also set the endomondo app to beat yesterdays target so that if I was slow I’d have something to chase. Bit of a bummer hitting the traffic lights across the M1 then. Up the hill, thighs not feeling quite so bad as yesterday. On every descent I nail it out of the saddle to try and make up speed and time. It worked. By the time I reach the bestest roundabout in the world ever* I was over three minutes ahead, and just one climb to go.

Got the camera out at about where I figured 1,000 miles would be, then hammered home.

Gives me inspiration to try and do better next year. I’m making no resolutions though***.

* It’s a perfect radius and surface for scraping the inside pedal. Half an hour on a sportsbike there could be some knee-down fun.

** But you do get lots more nods from roadies when wearing white shoes.

*** Geek joke. My resolution for next year? 1920 x 1280.

Bike: Il Pompino
Distance: Just over an hour
Playlist: Rawk – iPod went Stoner

Having realised yesterday that I was close to 1,000 miles for the year I had to get a ride in today. Kirsty went to do the horses and after a lie in I went out on the bike. I wore incongruous shoes – white whippet slippers on an Il Pompino, and I swear that for the first few minutes I was faster. Then the road went up, and the effects of yesterday and 44:16 gear kicked in.

Il Pompino

I was knackered heading West, but once I reached the halfway point the wind was behind me, the iPod had kicked into SOAD and I flew home.

Just a dozen miles tomorrow, rain or shine, to do.

Tour of Witts End

Bike: Il Pompino
Distance: Just shy of two hours
Playlist: Rawk – iPod got a classic 80s metal theme into it’s mind

Just as Monster needs to let off steam I can’t sit at home during the Christmas break lamenting the size of my gut as I feed myself with the contents of the traditional box of Quality Streets*. We had planned a group hack this morning, four horses in Polite jackets riding through the village causing the local youth to stare at their feet and kick the tyres of their hot hatches**. Inclement weather of the wet and windy variety put paid to that. Did I want to risk more punctures and mud to go out? Did I heck.

Cross-processed suicide panda

So pump up the tyres on the Pompino to 110 psi and spend two hours exploring local lanes between all the local villages. Most of which have names ending in, er, End. Including the Witts End of the title. The weather held fair. The riding was uneventful, except for the serious camber on the stretch of road I chose for the obligatory ride photo. Hence the look of fear in my eyes above.

Update: I need to fit in another 29 miles before the end of the year to make a round thousand miles for the year. That’s a pathetic total. Twenty years ago I used to make that distance in five weeks of commuting. I was a stone lighter and eating 5,000 calories a day, mind.

* Other over-large tins of low cocoa content, high fat, chocolate confectionary are available.

** Yes, really. It’s quite funny to see.

Apparently the UCI is going to enforce Article 1.3.014 from the UCI rulebook. Which sounds like the sort of nonsense Arnold Rimmer would quote from the Space Corps Directives. While not actually from the Space Corps Directives it is almost as nonsensical; basically saying that your saddle must henceforth be level +/- 3 degrees, and they will be checking.

Mutters FFS under breath. Good job I’ve got a handy level app on the old iPhone so I can make sure I’m not contravening any petty rules.

An even more ridiculous part of the above article is this:

Bottles have been increasingly moving away from their original function of allowing riders to rehydrate towards an alternative use as aerodynamic elements which are integrated into the design of frames in order to improve riders’ performances. It has become essential to regulate the positioning and dimensions of bottles in order to avoid any future deviations and to return bottles to their principal function.

Article 1.3.024 bis will come into effect on 1st January 2013. From that date, bottles will only be allowed to be positioned on the down tube and seat tube. Locating bottles behind the saddle, on the stem, or in any other position will then be prohibited.

Lets take a look at some bottles being used for their principal function back in the 1931 Tour De France…

Tour De France, 1931

Of course for such a blatant transgression or article 1.3.024.bis the UCI would have no qualms in fining Magne, Pelissier and Leducq thousands of Swiss Francs to line it’s coffers.

What article applies to overzealous out of touch wankers?

Bike: Hunter
Distance: 1 mile
Punctures: 3!

OK, so one puncture was the slow puncture I fixed before I set off. Thorn removed. The ride itself was just from home to the stables, but it involves a climb to get the lungs working and a descent to finish off.

Braking for the corner at the bottom of the descent told me it was time to fit new pads to the rear which I did. By which time I noticed that the rear tyre was going soft again. Find and fix another thorn puncture.

I had intended on getting out on the 4th, but come back to the bike in the morning and find another flat. This one took a bucket of water to find, semi-frozen in this weather. By the time I’d done and ridden horses, been to buy a new and necessary rug for one of them it was 2 o’clock. I had hoped to get out for an hour before daylight faded, but then we were called upon to go for a family meal. Still, it’s ready for the next weekend.

Bike: Spot
Distance: 1 hour 30 minutes
Playlist: Rock

With a day off to attend to horses feet and a visit to the farrier the morning was free. As this is supposedly the busiest time for observing deer fights I decided to ride to Woburn deer park and capture some stag versus stag ruckus.

Stud

Turns out the deer are pretty boring, and as the sun rose they just carried on eating. This fella above appeared over the horizon for a gander at the does, but none of the other stags took exception to him and it all remained fairly calm.

Nowt left but to do the daily shop.

Cheeky boys.

It doesn’t matter what or where you ride, so long as you enjoy the ride.

This is a steed

Dusk ’til Dawn kind of satisfied my riding urge in much the same way that Mountain Mayhem kills it at the end of June. In June I get over it by taking a week out surfing. Dusk ’til Dawn coincided with bringing the thing above out of fields and back into stables which means that the day is top and tailed with 45 minutes physical work at the stables. If it’s 6 of the clock that’s where you’ll find me. a.m. or p.m.

At the rate we’ve been getting through the sloe gin I’ll need to put some more on. You can see the hipflask at the front of the saddle there. It’s capacity puts the mountain biking ones to shame. Luckily I found a whole hedgerow of sloes just the other morning. Maybe I’ll go back out there on two wheels with a Timbuk 2.